Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

Procrastinators Pseudonymous

“That was great, George,” said Albert, who seemed to be the leader of this whole Procrastinators Pseudonymous (PP) meeting. “Thanks for sharing.” George, a short and rather fidgety young man, offered a quick nod and stared intently at his feet.

“Anyone else want to share?” Albert asked. No one spoke. I dared to look up and found that his eyes were fixated on me. “How about you? Would you like to share?”

“Not really,” I mumbled.

“Come on, pal. Everyone has something to share.”

I sighed and decided to tell my story before he used the word “share” again. “Fine. Uhm. My name is Myron, and I’m a procrastinator.”  

“Hi Myron,” the people sitting in the small circle recited in unison.

I gave a little wave. “Hi. Uh, well there isn’t really much to tell. I started procrastinating in high school, but it didn’t really hurt me until I got to college. It started with a television show or two during lunch – you know, nothing serious – but it escalated to two or three hours of television with every meal. Things got worse when I found a nice little library within walking distance of the school that had the most incredible selection of books…”

My voice drifted as my mind focused on the books that had captured my attention. “Watching TV is great, but there’s nothing quite like getting into a good book. You can go anywhere – do anything! You can get lost between the pages and never want to ask for directions…” I blinked, suddenly remembering where I was. “Anyway, I got so lost in television and books that I didn’t notice that my grades were plummeting. I had begun to put off doing homework and studying to watch the latest TV shows and read the newest books. I always figured that there would be more than enough time in the future to get my work done and usually threw together some half-baked product at the last minute. When my poor grades were brought to my attention, I tried to stop the procrastination, but it was too late. Procrastination had become a way of life. It grew from plotted entertainments to hanging out with friends, doing meaningless tasks, or wandering aimlessly around campus. Soon enough, I realized that I couldn’t sit down and do honest work for more than ten minutes, so I dropped out of school.

“I used some money that I had saved up to rent a run-down apartment, and I got a minimum wage job at one of those fast-food places. It didn’t take long for me to get fired. I got to work late every day because I never took the time to get ready, and I dilly-dallied when I was supposed to be delivering orders. I knew that if I didn’t make money, I would eventually be kicked out of my apartment, so I decided to write. Whether it was because I really liked to create stories, or because I was too lazy to look for another job, I decided to write short stories and try to find someone willing to buy them. It seemed like a great idea, until I realized that my constant procrastination stopped me from writing any more than two paragraphs.

“I lost the apartment about a week ago, and I’ve been sleeping in the park ever since. I only came to this meeting because I knew that there would be donuts afterwards.” I looked around. All eyes were on me. I shrugged. “That’s… about it, I guess.”

All at once, everyone thanked me for sharing.

“That was great, Myron,” Albert smiled. “Thanks for sharing. Anyone else want to share?”

I woke up with a small yelp to find myself, not in a “PP” meeting, but in one of Herin Hall’s bathrooms. Extreme procrastination had prevented me from studying for the two tests I had that day – Personal Finance and General Psychology – and I had spent the night before studying (cramming effectively) for both of them.

I had just completed the Psychology test, and I was pretty sure that I had aced it, but I was concerned about the Personal Finance test. I hadn’t spent as much time studying for it as I had Psychology. I was angry at myself for wasting a majority of the week fueling my procrastination rather than studying. Exhausted, I dragged myself into the bathroom to splash some water on my face, but fell asleep instead.

The dream scared me. Was it possible for procrastination to mess up my future that badly?

I wasn’t about to find out.

On Thursday, I did the one thing I swore I would never do: I made a schedule. I’ve always hated schedules. I felt like they limited my ability to be spontaneous. It was only after the Personal Finance test that I realized that being spontaneous and procrastinating were one in the same.

Sitting at my desk, I begrudgingly plotted out everything I had to do, how long it would take to do each thing, and in what order I would do them. I hate to admit it, but it was kind of fun – like putting together the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. The next day, I set out the follow the schedule, and surprisingly enough, I did. Though I did not complete every task, in that one day, I accomplished more than I had during the entire week.  

The present is ripe with opportunity. Why put off till tomorrow what can be done today?